This blog has a great wave as illustration because after Harmonious Union, this is how I experienced the healing that came over me and I accepted in. The Great Wave off Kanagawa is a woodblock print by Japanese ukiyo-e artist Hokusai, created in late 1831 during the Edo period of Japanese history. Take note of the famous Mount Fuji in the background!
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Twin Flame inner work tool KEY
The thing that happened to me after Harmonious Union in March 2020 that comes to mind first, is that I went through one big KEY exercise of a couple of years long. KEY is the inner work tool for Twin Flames that really works. When you are upset in the moment, you can discern what exactly is going on in you and turn it around to feel different about it altogether, through which your entire reality shifts. This can be done every moment again and because it grounds you in the space beyond feelings, emotions and upsets, the spiritual ground of life, you can make steps on the Twin Flame journey there. Because that is a spiritual level endeavor. This is how I got in Harmonious Union to begin with.
But you can also experience one big KEY exercise over time, with many emotions coming up and processing itself until they have disappeared, and closing off after weeks, months or even some years, into one big cathartic ending of a healing phase that eventually let everything fall into its specific peaceful and eternal place. This is what happened for me after having arrived. It was in fact the beginning of an enormous healing wave that started to rol over all aspects of my life, turning everything I thought was a fixed member of my life’s interior upside down until it was all more in the order of what Divine Mother felt like was right for me in Union.
Come to speak of it, I indeed apparently didn’t know yet who I was! But She knew… She knew how to take the material of my Twin Flame journey and transform it in a way that was yet unknown to me. The material was among others that which had happend not long before the Harmonious Union consciousness shift. That comprised of the realization that there was a big sexual spark between us when that was not within the boundaries of a relationship, not with each other, we both (we thought) had another. This was wrong boundary wise in all ways possible and wanting to pull your hair out is the mildest way to express how this felt. But it was surprisingly also right because it made the penny drop finally that THIS was IT, too.
Now I had given the impression that I was with someone else, while that wasn’t really so, I was being deceived by my false Twin Flame and was dragging out to make the call and stop the idea of the relationship that was put on nonactive practically by him since 14 months at that time as well. I had somehow given the impression that I was with someone else while everything in me screamed that all I ever ever had wanted was to be with him – and we knew each other already for some decades at that point. I had given the impression I was with someone else and then proceeded to be sexually attracted to someone outside of that, which is not conform my feeling of morals or desire for how to lead my relational life ideally.
In effect, my love life was a farce, apparently. And that had surfaced now completely. That was a win, that I needed to now work on for some time to turn completely around. So much was sure. And the situation from his side was sort of similar although distinctly different in his own unique way that was meaningful to him as a background to derive the motivation from to want to transform. There was so much to look into and completely turn around, it seemed. But I found that I could choose that, however it would not be immediately livable in all social ways desired. And that is how I reached Harmonious Union: by choosing. I’m not kidding you.
And how this sexual-social healing topic continued after that, was that it started the definitive ending of sexual confusion in my life as a whole. The whole role-reversal that had crept in me as an answer for the deep fear to be overruled sexually, that had been passed on to me by matter of raising. Meaning: the tendency to need to control a man and chose a man that can be controlled so he is traumatized in the first place himself also. This is the multigenerational pattern where I came from and it had been successfully passed on to me. I had reversed roles and was aggressive towards men in the past.
This also corresponds with something that I see a lot around me (just like I feel this pattern might be not that unique either to put it mildly, especially around so called feminists) and that is to be rather sexually open and active. That may sound like a positive development of emancipation since the 1960, but that depends. What I found out was that it was a false sense of being so womanly and enjoying of sexuality, because it was basically leaking your sexual energy toward all kinds of men that did not reciprocate it, commit to a romantic relationship, take responsibility and many more of such things. Yes, it was essentially the same as I said in the last paragraph: a way to role reverse out of fear of being overlooked and thus in fact not only being aggressive (instead of feminine!) but also losing my energy, being taken from.
In the end I traveled to a state in which it was fully clarified to me that my sexuality was only meant to be for my Twin Flame. But that was a couple of years in the healing wave. This went in stages and the fact that this was the end result, does not mean that it is a moral judgement taken from social opinions one has up front without being surrendered into the deeper ocean of Union. It is something that came into being after taking in the healing it apparently entailed and going towards the very end of that profound and extensive process. I hadn’t foreseen the curriculum but there it was: unmistakably. Going from the results of having been sexually-narcissistically abused (you needed to comply with psychological and sexual abuse otherwise punishment would ensue) in my childhood towards the healed attitude of Union was a ginormous wave!
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The Angry Child
The last time I saw my True Twin Flame in real life before Harmonious Union the consciousness state I stepped out of his car fully enraged internally. I still loved him even bigger, much bigger, but I had also never been more angry in my entire life. I have spoken of this pivotal moment in the letter to you, dear reader, that you’ll find in your Starter Kit that you can pick up right here: https://www.creativeuniverse.earth/StarterKit. This moment not only made me very human and relatable to you that can also be very emotional about what seems like caused by your Twin Flame, but in this happening was enclosed the entire solution to so many issues in my life plus our entire coming together harmoniously as well!
That is because my unconscious anger, that was already in me anyway, and was only stirred to come to the surface by my Twin Flame not being able to answer the love request at that very moment (against his own will, it was all incredibly silly and complicated at that moment, fortunately that ball of yarn was simply able to get sorted by the choice to do so), made known its presence so that I could start to unravel it to completion and go to the next chapter. See, in Twin Flame Union you can not lie or pretend. Also not about deeply suppressed emotions that you deem out of sight and thus non-existent. This love anchors into you on the solid spiritual ground under all emotions and feelings, because it is Divine Love. This ground can be reached and used as sustainable foundation for your Harmonious Union when you’ve purified the entrance to it.
My purification entailed lots of anger that needed to go out of the way to be able to reach that safe and eternal inner place to come forward correctly so that I could – on behalf of my Union – say Yes! to it and thus create Harmonious Union. The truth is that this anger constituted for the most part my still present childhood trauma that I had understood and worked on for 20 years but was still active in me nevertheless, mostly because I couldn’t express it as I thought that would be disrespectful. So even after having reached Harmony by reaching the bottom underneath it and saying Yes to the real deal inside of me whatever it takes, I had still all this unconscious anger to further and completely let go of, because it was still in and around that breach that had been made successfully. This eventually meant that I moved through all repressed grief, anger, fear, guilt and shame until I was healed here, not psychologically but spiritually that is to say completely.
This took a couple of years, I guess because it was so severe (and because it was all of the contents in the soul level and not only that as a reaction to my present life), it was full of narcissistic abuse, a control tactic, under who’s umbrella I had also been coerced into sexual assault continually and my psychology was actually completely ruined by it, because it had never gotten a fertile ground to land on: the substruction was completely rotten! The psychological self that was build on top of it, had not yet much connection with the real Source foundation underneath. This was my opportunity to let that organic process happen from start to finish. Eventually, it was also seen and integrated that it had only been there because my soul had desired this profound reorganization in ascended Union order, and there was a need for a fierce contrast experience because I otherwise would not be able to make it in this lifetime.
In the course of the healing process, I lay awake in the middle of the night for hours, for months on end, reliving in my nervous system and internal visualizations, the attacks on my integrity of body and psyche. This then changed into a phase into which all the awful degrading sentences that had been said to me as a child without end, would raise out of my heart – where they would be soaked out of, as that was their storage place surprisingly – and reach my brain where I would hear them, remember them all consciously. This was one continual verbal attack that I would inner-hear during the day, every day, for months on end. This was walking back over everything that was put inside of me, to be able to release it complete forever. Every 6 months I prayed to Divine Mother pleading for it to be over now, but I always got the answer that it was what it was and there would be an end to it. I needed to patiently go through exactly all the phases! Because this was my healing in which important changes would occur for me, so no mini step could be skipped here…
In this period what was happening was an entire reset of my my internal parent-child system. I started to read about raising children and thought about it a lot. I was moving into the matured psychology and life overview of midlife, at the very same time as opening up to the cleared-of-trauma space and letting in the spiritual light of after-Harmonious-Union and however for some the popular idea may apply that “you now understand your parents”, I indeed saw what it had been and that the only sane decision was to say that it had been abusive. Wisdom came over me, after so many generations of being cursed by not being able to be with your true self and raise that in the next generation. During these times I saw a lot of random parents abuse their children in the street or the supermarket in my presence: a sign of how culturally normal this is but also a sign of my own processing exactly this and I knew being confronted in this way would diminish again when I would have developed out of this stage.
I underwent a process of seeing through all the contra-organic development abuse techniques that I had been treated with as a child, and my siblings too, and my parents by theirs and so on too for sure. In my childhood everything was decided with the unconscious measure of things not being allowed to be a natural harmony but it always had to be lead by an artificial imparting of something that was of a strictness that would fit a prison guard: be it about the intake of which and how much food, water used to wash yourself, clothes to wear and beds to sleep in or any other topic. The implicit ground rule was that there was no inner autonomously functioning harmonizing presence inside of you but it had to be controlled from the outside, by the parent. It was like living in a prison but worse because it was psychologically abusive (unconsciously meant to degrade you below human level) – and nothing could be learned because for learning you need inner freedom (to come to experience there is in fact an inner lead for all of these and more topics).
My life was therefore unnatural and later on in this reset, I therefore started building up anew what essentially is super normal after all is said and done, but also sacred in its everydayness. In this time I consciously started my own family; sure, with only myself in the beginning, but with my inner child too, my inner parent, my mission self that was coming out for the truth more, with my Twin Flame with whom I was now harmonized in our growth spurts and with our children in spirit that had made themselves known already. I started truly caring for myself, was guided to new chapters of physical healing and new found nourishing food cooking and eating habits: I worked 1,5 year on a deeply engrained fungus infection in my right leg and toe; I worked 1,5 year on learning traditional cooking techniques of the ancient history of humankind. My looks were also reset and I sorted out an entirely new wardrobe: clothes as outer shell that fits the inner. And I held a full private financial revision that took me 2,5 years parallel to the wardrobe.
I bought my inner child stuffed animals and toys. I finally realized that mothering is a real thing that has an actual impact on your entire being and without which there is no psychological growth. This may sound strange but I actually did not know that parenting was real, because it had not been for me at the appropriate time by the appropriate people. Divine Mother showed me that it is an absolute necessity to have a parent be actually emotionally present with you and developing a relationship with you; otherwise you can’t relate to yourself or anyone else for that matter. The ability to relate is taken from you when you do not develop the parts of your brain that are active with genuine communication and exchange, because you are deprived of it by your primary mirrors: your parents. Luckily you can also use Divine Mother herself as parent.
This all did not come out of nowhere: I had actually traveled to Divine Mother in summer 2021 to be under her protective coat and learn all these things. After I had touched on this place where one can meet her, in summer 2017, it was now time to actually travel there and send some time in deep meditation and prayer. So I did. I made a documentary of that trip to Portugal and was inspired to make an e-course about what I had learned from her about manifesting your Twin Flame Union-life. Here you find it: https://www.creativeuniverse.earth/DivineFeminine
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Journey through purgatory into Heaven
Yes, that is what it was, and although that can sound like a beautiful metaphor, it was actually a most literal reality. As Divine Mother took over my entire development and parenting, she also explained to me how I was walking back over everything that had been disharmonious in my inner and outer life – with the goal to actually now transform it into harmony! And that there is no other real way than that, for if there would be, you would lose out of the many opportunities to actually learn and grow and also because the result, reaching a life in heaven, is absolutely real. The steps to get there also need to come up to the same quality to make that fully accessible: your journey through purgatory will be real also. Saying some sort of spell will not cut it, as it will only place a curtain before the real reality, and that must fall away again one day.
Your Harmonious Twin Flame Union is real and therefore the process in it as well. You simply can’t have a real Union while you fake the inner work and resulting process! If it would even make it for a couple seconds, then it will definitely fall apart dramatically soon afterwards… But in my case this meant that a couple of deeply unpleasant phenomenon needed to be looked in the eye that already were in my life and one of them was how I was bullied in the women entrepreneurs school I right before my Harmonious Union moment had gained advice again, after already having been guided through the full entrepreneurial system development there a decade earlier. They now had a clique of ‘such spiritual women that could manifest people paying them more money for more services’, that they would ‘never be against another woman of course, they were explicitly against such practices, that was their reason for existence’. Imagine my surprise at actually being gang stalked with online bullying behavior by people proclaiming such words!
Yes, my Harmonious Union clearly had hit the wrong spot for them; I was now unrecognizable for them, as true spiritual attainments are something completely different than ego-spiritual ideas that organize a better physical life for yourself. Not that there is anything wrong with surviving! We all have that need and it is not more then normal to have attention for it… But it was clear that being initiated by life itself as Twin Flame teacher was not going to be something they would be able to take serious at all; rather, I was being ridiculed on social media by them openly about every angle they could find to criticize: really the silly perspectives such as that you can’t see or measure Harmonious Union but they ARE married and so on. Eventually, as the KEY tool teaches, all of this was related to how my mother had ridiculed me every step of my childhood (and adulthood!) and – deeper than that – an expression of how I ridiculed myself unconsciously in my soul. And that’s eventually where I resolved it.
You could certainly say that I started to use the happenings in life that I couldn’t escape (yet) to do my inner work on and with it; inner work that needed to be done anyway, because it was in my life because of my own souls choice after all… That’s what made the covid episode of 2020-21 for me doable, because I used my emotions about it all to work out what needed a KEY healing process in me any way: it looked a lot like the narcissistic abuse to me, that I was healing from already. That then also brings to memory the time in which I had attracted a couple of narc chasers, that would collect hundreds of people online in their own context, to declare others to be narcissists with a vengeance that was more and more a problem in itself in my eyes. Eventually they would also make me out to be one (of course!) and I in my heart thanked them for their participation in my life until that point and removed them. To then do more inner work!
I had a longstanding water leakage issue in my apartment with my below neighbor, as my kitchen had leaked without my active participation in his house and created damage and we still needed to figure out financial arrangements also. This was a topic that was the most shameful for me ever; not sure if you can imagine, but it was a true and very potent example of how your physical life seemingly outside of your control, can mirror something so intimate and personal… and I only felt a deep shame to come out of me every time. Yes, that needed to be felt through! Because it was already in me anyway. It had to do with my leaking my sexual energy, which I had been doing for decades, not knowing how to stop it, just like this leakage issue that had been playing out for some years.
It was connected with my sexual wounds and as a consequence not being conscious of who I gave unwarranted sexual access for a long time, not knowing how to stop this phenomenon that I was not happy with as well. Eventually I resolved the physical leakage issue and we arranged financial compensation in a couple of intricate ways, but his behavior while doing so, triggered a whole new level of awfulness out of me while it was happening… Exactly playing the innocent feely-guy that would come over to solve things in friendship that actually behind the scenes came out as a sexual predator that was planning to sue me if things didn’t go his way. He couldn’t communicate and was traumatized himself; let’s put it friendly. So I walked that ultimately meaningless way of the cross as well until it had resolved itself to completion.
I made it back to the church in my hometown and saw myself being treated by the friendly people in ways that piece by piece only reminded me of trauma. Everyone mirrored some crazy aspect of me back to me. And even though I would have loved to allow myself a break again there, it was actually more that Divine Mother simply guided me to another place again after that short stint in which everything was communicated already. Step by step I was moving through my personal purgatory towards where the border would be to enter Heaven and lately Divine Mother told me I was now there. Which only is a new place to take in until I can proceed inside of Heaven now.
Another way of saying what happened was that I diligently worked through my fear to go to love. And during these episodes, I was on and off communicating with my Twin Flame, and that could easily be called the deeper motivator for all these movements of healing in my life. Every time we had experienced another episode of deeper and deeper communication, the atmosphere changed again and I could go further through the purgatory landscape in the direction of the before mentioned border. Don’t be mistaken, in this communication I upset my Twin Flame a lot, so he went through a transformation process also as a result of that. I did this by being myself (flaws and all) and didn’t mean to! It was always for the better because he could transform his mind through this as it is not at all a one way street in Union.
Socially, I underwent an entire life revision in this way. One central lesson to correct inside of myself was that I had always felt about everyone in my life: they do a certain thing but actually feel differently underneath and are against me underneath, so everyone is split and upside down. This was also what my Twin Flame mirrored to me, because he always did cool as if he was just my friend until I revealed he had sexual feelings for me also. This was myself. I rejected myself; I was hiding myself. As for ‘the rest of the world’, I had more the impression things were upside down in my life, compared to my Twin Flame situation, that people would play nice to me but were actually not my friend being the scenes. That was also me: I behaved as if everyone had to be treated nicely but I actually didn’t feel that for everyone, which is normal by the way, we all have a private atmosphere that is not accessible to all (boundaries are normal). But I had learned narcissistic ways as a child, remember, and this was the result of all that. This inverted social world needed correction and got it.
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Sexual Change: again (kind of core!)
The old idea in society and religion was to split sexuality and spirituality, and that literal virgins were preferable for spiritual heights, but with Harmonious Union you can experience the sexual (orgasmic) high point and the spiritual one as One. This will happen with them, but also on your own already (!). Sure, you can experience solo sexual magic at first but it all comes together when you go deeper and deeper into it, in the end realizing you are feeling the sexual high sustainably in time together with the feeling of being spiritually high in the heart connection with your True Twin Flame. And this enormous high on both levels, gets then embodied in a way that will become more grounded and simply normal, natural and everyday daily life experience.
This became all clarified in practice for me during my time after Harmonious Union. The couple sexual experience will be now simply sliding into the experience of how this solo already feels, as One, is what I have gotten clear on. It is a return to feeling the virginity of the mind, of the energy, where everyone is a virgin continually, but to call that forward and live it is another question and that has been coming into existence here. This was especially important for me because of my sexual assault history in how I grew up, where this was present continually, to be gone over your body and sexual and emotional boundaries while needing to live outside of the safe compassion of Divine connection which also included not being allowed to bring a halt to any of it (because you essentially did’t exist as an autonomous unit and therefore your needs or boundaries not only didn’t count but were deemed virtually non-existent), an experience which had been repeated in my adult life because of repetition compulsion continually until I stopped it.
This entire experience was washed away and a completely new one entered my life. The old one had not been real, it was an induced state of always being aroused almost, of needing outside soothing because it was not installed inside, created by a breach in my energy system because of having been broken into sexually: a general phenomenon that I see around me more and can look to the person as though they are such an awesome sexy lord or lady but it is actually based on an unreal situation that represents a wound. Outside of that, in the healed you, you could for sure be a sexy person, full of the zest for life, of course! But then it would be based on reality. The reality of Harmonious Union. To then see that so called virginity always already had been about being in the power of your Divine Mind and allowing that to protect and fulfill you always; not about the body. This is made experiential for you in the e-course that I created in the past years: https://www.creativeuniverse.earth/SexualMagic
False nostalgia crept into me though: I had a certain (silly) longing for the dysfunctional relationship past, because it had been like home to me for so long. I also discerned a certain desire to go back to the days of when I was still confused about Twin Flames, because it had somewhat of a romantic feel to me to watch (again, silly) video’s on YouTube back in the day, hoping for some magical information that would make it all come true in a breeze. Both are my insanity (ego) that I was slowly waving goodbye to… This was a grieving process, until it was complete.
I came to realize that my Twin Flame Mission had the same feel to it as my sexual Twin Flame life, both a Source tantra. My entire mission was started over, because there was a new alignment that made it all different however not very much changed at the same time. It was more as if what I had always meant came forward fully to be communicated much more directly and that alignment transformed everything from the inside out. Much stayed the the same but became more pronounced but at one time I emptied our entire Facebook group to restart afresh. I added mission to the Sexual Magic E-course because it was so intricately related, is what I found. I know that your sex life will play out in the bedroom (mostly at least), but the concept of sexuality was as a broad phenomenon the life force giver to everything, especially Twin Falme spirituality and Twin Flame Mission. There is much to be said about this and I am sure this topic will return in one form or another. Until that time, make it practical for yourself and do the E-course!
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Corrections
Loads of KEY inner work practice was being done by me, and an energy body spiritual practice every day too, of the ones that are in the e-courses: the Source Magic Surya Namaskar in the morning and the Source Magic Rosary in the evening. There were interventions from the place and person that I co-created my own Union with that were coming in like thunder every now and then. I experienced many corrections. Some of them are:
I followed the soap story of Harry & Meghan of the British Royal family because it provided me with a view on the life I had lived with the false Twin Flame until it had done all its healing work.
Yes indeed, I followed the soap opera, because… well first of all I felt I was allowed a silly hobby to get my mind on something else for a bit, but the most important deeper reason was that I actually saw my own situation in them. There was a whole YouTube climate and group that had come into existence after they wed in 2018 (and I had watched that church wedding on tv!) that created clarity on how toxic they behaved; there was a narcissism specialist that made her out to be the narcissist and him the ensnared victim and he was also witty and entertaining so I listened to him a lot. And yes, it was like my parents, and importantly it was like my own false Twin Flame experience and had started the same around the same time. And I had also fallen for it, at first, because it was in the summer after I saw the wedding that I truly got with my false Twin Flame but within mere weeks it became clear that something was wrong. It was all pretty narcissistic. I needed clarifications and found them with following the narcissism reports on Harry & Meghan. But over time, the same old story kept on being repeated, I got it fully by now and it was getting all pretty useless. The true correction was to stop watching because it was no longer needed, I got it and it was now a waste of energy and time.
I started to see what my Twin Flame was doing was what I wanted to happen and what I did without him I had wanted to do alone.
Yes, my Twin Flame had so called ‘ran away’, but I did inner work on that with the KEY tool and this sunk in deeper and deeper. Until I realized that this was what I wanted. Not that I gave up on being together, oh no! But I realized that I had needed this healing time myself. I came to understand that the things I was doing now, were what I had wanted to do alone, this was how it was meant to be. To then slowly but surely move into more healed waters, for sure. The correction was that I needed to start live in the Now, truly, while keeping at the inner work and the over-arching goal at the very same time. It was a revelation that I was able to live in that way and that it was my highest option, while making come true everything I deeply desired. I was living the dream!
For a long time, I still was trying to live my Twin Flames life. This goes together with the gradual withdrawal of wanting to control him.
Yup, I lived his life and wasted years doing it. Because taking in his place, I was not myself and could not give space for him to step in. I wanted to do it all alone and for instance studied money and crypto currencies, where money is his profession. I took on a sort of a male role not only in mission leadership but life in general and private life as well and that meant that there was no room for the male to be next to me. This held everything back. I needed correction and this was very difficult because this was a form of control from my side that had come into existence from a need that I still felt was right for a long time, because that was fear. My need was the fear of anything social and intimate because I was deeply traumatized in that field from how I had been treated during childhood and it needed control to be soothed. The correction was that the fear wasn’t real and thus needed no soothing and therefore no control. It needed to be busted that it had any existence at all. The result was that space for him to come into my life was created.
I went through an entire spiritual-religious conversion, into the belief in Union of Twin Flames as the foundation of any and all life.
Over the years – and all these points took a whole hand full of years to accomplish – I was taken deeper and deeper by Divine Mother into this spiritual truth, as something that is already true right now, not only in the future when your journey is completed into GOLD Consciousness or Perfect Union. It had in my case to be accomplished against all odds as it were, because I was resistant throughout this conversion process, or perhaps I was healthily skeptical, I wanted to keep my down to earth mentality and approach and liked things to keep being logically explainable also, add to that a good dose of natural stubbornness that my personality has. But it was relentless and kept on gaining space in my subconscious mind, as though it gained ground in an internal spiritual battle, until I was completely converted. Countless tears were shed on that progression line and that cleansed my mind and brought in all the new pathways in my brain that it entailed in physicality too. This then simply made me view everything in an entirely new light, from the Union perspective, reality including God and all spiritual life. I was converted to Union as if it were a religion. It can be lived through many forms; here we live it through the form of the Creative ID method.
I remembered clearly where we had come in our last lifetime and realized I needed to pay the price for working through what hadn’t been worked through back then to come closer together then we had been.
We had worked as partners in the spiritual school back then in the nineteenth century; we were both teaching and fully connected in mission however I was most visible. We had a significant and untraditional age gap but that wasn’t the reason of not being together is what I started to realize. It was my own attitude towards partnership. This time, I had a desire to release this and make possible to be together in all capacities, also romantic. I started to realize that the trauma of this lifetime’s start was exactly what I had needed as a soul to work through the distance between what we had established in our past lifetime and where I wanted to go now with an intimate life partnership and I healed it. This was an enormous correction and I was able to make it after interference of the Christ Masters I co-create Harmonious Union with in spirit.
I saw the complaints about my mothers brutal breaking into my psyche and raping my identity there also, in myself and my past behavior and I healed it there.
Yes, I eventually understood that it was all a mirror and the only place where I truly could correct it was inside myself, because that’s where it was present. Very confronting, but also deeply healing. This correction also made me see my surroundings differently. I realized that I had been gaslit by almost every wise woman that I had met and looked up to as a replacement for my non—existent mother emotionally, all my teachers and mentors, about how truly abusing my childhood was, how bad my health was as a result of that and about the nature of Twin Flames, that you couldn’t come together (in this lifetime). Essentially, that love didn’t exist. But then this was thus also a direct reflection of that I myself didn’t believe in myself, love and coming together, that’s why this all happened for decades, why I got all these gaslighters surrounding me saying to me the exact opposite of what was true, and not seldom in ‘oh so spiritual social circles’. It was a mirror for what I believed and I allowed my belief to become thoroughly corrected.
I realized that it is not about the material results of the state of consciousness of Harmonious Twin Flame Union, and only about the immaterial, essential heart results, always.
When I had gotten already pretty far in my after-Harmonious-Union-Healing-wave, a couple years, I started to feel the results in a material sense around me. I had been working on my food and health life for 2 years and felt so much more satisfied in my bodily experience. I had been working on my looks and wardrobe as an extension of that foundational health for 1,5 year as well and this started to really go places I enjoyed so very much. I was reforming my financial life and that went to great spots also: I got just a tad more to spend on my daily life and that made me so happy. Then it came in like a thunder: I was now getting distracted by these physical results! It was still always about the inner work, which would be the only thing that would truthfully bring me further on the journey still always. It creates the only truly and soulfully satisfactory experience of pleasure, but you can also strand there and then the connection is lost and the correct pleasure fizzles out. Luckily I allowed myself to be corrected! Right now I’m still growing in physical maturity, health, good forms and the experience of pleasure that I adore, and I expect to keep on growing in this regard in a sustainable way.
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Becoming True
I saw that I had been soaking into all these lessons for two decades before Harmonious Union already and especially since a decade before Harmonious Union also, but that it all Became TRUE in this period definitively and got its final shape. Not that I want for you to take so long; that’s why I created this work. Here the Union as religion plays a role because you have to actively chose it otherwise its something that comes only when you’ve completed the entire journey until GOLD Consciousness or Perfect Union. What is meant is that with the belief like as if it is a religion, you cement yourself into it so that it is possible for you to live it right now.
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The Value of Relating
Eventually I saw that I needed to contribute my Beingness to his life, so he would be able to be the true him and we would be able to play a role for humanity. I saw that this was the most compassionate outcome for everyone, everything and all. I saw that it was a giving I had the privilege to contribute: I was a gift of Divine Mother to be given to him. This was now realized by my Beingness of my soul, and 15 years ago that would’ve been also able to be said by my mouth but it would’ve been my ego that said it and would thus not be made true in the sense that is needed for true Union success: note the difference for your education.
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Prayer
I prayed for him and his loved ones daily for long stretches of time, sometimes taking a break of some weeks or months because I rearranged my daily schedule priorities, but I always loved to come back to it. It was such an intimate gesture of giving unconditionally.
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Signs
Literally everything became a Twin Flame sign. And at first every pick-a-card reading on YouTube became true when I chose mine, it was as if everything was beyond right. Then it became less fascinating to go into these things. Signs had swallowed my entire reality and mind.
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Role
When I behaved, I wasn’t myself, in the past because I had been having emotions that were the narcissist’s and I had been having family-system-emotions that were thus not truly mine, not of my individuated self. I saw that I had mostly reacted-to, when I behaved in the past. And now after having transformed, I am in my self but I am also now surrendered to when he does what – which is a blessing – in my role as Divine Feminine. A certain sexual passivity has been revealed to me that is fitting and that has a parallel in how it is said that the ascension went for Divine Mother: she receives, and is assumed, and is crowned. She does do it with her real self, she relates and is transformed and elevated in that relationship.
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Celebration
It in the end all comes down to slowly arriving into this space of pure celebration of being in the crowned version of yourself, what I experienced; being the Queen of your own Unions Kingdom with fitting humility so that intimacy can become tangibly present.
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Heaven on Earth
For living in Heaven on Earth with your Twin Flame you need to go for some time through this tunnel of light through purgatory (of which mine is just an example), to have your Union, Harmonious Union and healing wave move all into place for you so that you’ll land safely in your actual destination. It’s not difficult, the only thing it might do is fly right in the face of your ego. But the ego is an illusion anyhow, so let that shit go and join me!
All of what I described has been accomplished through the Twin Flame inner work of the Creative ID method under guidance of Divine Mother and was more than worth it.
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